Have you and your partner decided to immerse yourself in an exciting BDSM adventure? Great! You may wonder how to even start this journey, but don’t worry, we’ve got you covered! Before you try your first experiments in the bedroom (and not only there), you should do your research first. On this website, you will find all the basics and something more. Remember, always focus on open communication, safety, and building trust with your partner. That’s the key to an amazing BDSM experience.
Conversation and education first, experiments second
With BDSM practices, it’s very important to discuss your fantasies and boundaries openly with your partner first. Being spontaneous in sex might be nice, but this is not the right time for it. An honest conversation is a must, and don’t forget that all the activities have to be consensual! Both you and your partner share your thoughts about what excites you, what you would like to try, and what your limits are.
It is also much more fun to educate yourselves together. You can read books, listen to some podcasts, and watch educational videos about BDSM. This will give you a good picture of what to expect.
Then, you can try to define roles and dynamics that could be right for you. It is ok if you don’t have an exact idea yet; you can experiment freely as much as you want. Don’t forget to establish a safe word and safe signals, as well as talk about your idea of aftercare, which is crucial for emotional and physical support after every BDSM play. It can be helpful to write it all down. That way, you can always come back to it and edit it according to your experience.
Baby steps are the best
Now that you have discussed everything important with your partner and have mastered the theory, it is the right time for your first experiments. You won’t need much at the beginning, but it can be great fun to shop together for your first BDSM tools. Remember, you don’t need to try everything at once! Don’t overdo it and start with something lighter, such as soft wrist restraints, scarves, blindfolds, and soft floggers.
You can also include vibrators in the play. Of course, it depends on what BDSM practices you are most attracted to. Avoid all risky practices until you have gained enough experience! Besides light bondage, we can recommend various roleplay and power exchange scenarios, a little bit of spanking, and sensation play for the start.
Another conversation? Yes!
It might surprise you, but the conversation you have after the BDSM play is just as important as the experience itself. After your first BDSM sessions, share with your partner what you both liked or didn’t like, what was surprising for you, and what you would like to try next time. Because BDSM dynamics can evolve, don’t forget to check in regularly, not just in the very beginning. This will make your experience even better and the intimacy even deeper.